60 years is a pretty good start

I, Marian, having been born of goodly parents....

I could start so many of my contemplations that way.  That I was loved, that I was taught, that I have been given counsel, listening, and support.  That my life was shaped for the better.

My parents celebrated their 60th anniversary this week, and had a wonderful party on Saturday, to which we were originally going.  Because of scheduling problems with other siblings, the family party with all of their children was postponed four weeks, and we changed our tickets.  If I were rich (a common and totally empty refrain around here) I would have just gone to both.

I remember the family meeting when we were all together in Maryland, I think for Dad's 80th birthday.  There haven't been a whole lot of times when all of us have been in one place, we're so scattered.  Dad asked us what we remembered, what mattered most to us from our growing up.  My answer was that we could always catch our parents kissing in the kitchen.  I thought it was so sad that the only time I ever saw my father-in-law kiss his wife was after she was dead, as they made ready to close the casket.  Their marriage had been rocky, the ups and downs pretty bad sometimes, and while I think he loved her, he wasn't good at demonstrating that or letting her know how he felt. 

When she died, the youngest child was getting ready to leave for college at Utah State. It was a very hard thing for her to lose her mother just at that time in her life which was full of both excitement and apprehension.  She was still close enough to come home for weekends if she wished, but he was going to every single adult activity and dance he could find, starting just weeks after the funeral, which was very painful to her and a little baffling or upsetting to the others.  I listened to the accounts, and told my husband that I thought he couldn't bear to stay home in the empty house because the memories reproached him.

I am so glad that my family life was warm and happy.  It was stressed, it was bumpy sometimes because it was normal and human, but we always, always knew that our parents loved each other and us.

So, wishing them a happy anniversary by phone on the actual day, they opined that 60 years was a pretty good start, and they were happy to be together and looking forward to seeing us soon, when they would have the chance to celebrate all over again.  Till then, joy! --Your oldest.

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