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We love you too, Hugh

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 Maybe four or five months ago, a brother who had become a friend of ours here got up in testimony meeting; he said that he and his wife had lived here for 21 years (if I remember correctly) and this was only the second time he had stood to bear his testimony.  He talked about how, growing up in Kentucky hill country, everyone worked hard, they had a roof over their heads and food on the table, but no habits of open affection.  He said none of them really expressed the thought, "I love you" to anyone else.  It took time for him to learn to say such words, and he mostly only said them to his wife. He commented about hard times of various kinds...and how much life had changed with finding the gospel through finding his wife, and his gratitude for friends and his ward family. He was kind of looking down at the podium as much as out at all of us; then there was a quiet declaration that will touch my heart forever: looking up, he said, "All you people out there--I proba...

Playing dress-up

[Catching up on ideas that were begun but have been in limbo while so much has happened with our move] I heard a talk at Women's Conference some years ago by Patricia Holland that has stuck with me. I have not been able to find it online--wish I could--but I do have notes that prove it happened.  She said that we talk a lot about living righteously so that we can come back to our Father in Heaven, but that our purpose is not just to be with God, but to be like him.  Then she asked the question:  how can we become like God without spending time with him? It's not just keeping the commandments as a to-do list, but taking in his love and his promises and drawing close to our Savior.  Spend real time with him, that we may be changed by it, through deeper prayer, service, pondering, and scripture study. Some thoughts--If our whole goal were just to be in God’s presence again, why would we have left it in the first place? We were already w...

Goodby, cont.

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I didn't get back the second day, didn't finish this, did I? From last April.  I just haven't been here, life has been swamped.... Now a second Christmas has passed for Clark ('Fluffy' in her blog writings). So here it is. I miss Kathy Kidd's presence across the country.... How do I begin (humming the music intro in the back of my head)...to tell the story... I had read Paradise Vue and loved it.   I saw Kathy's name at her previous spot and started reading "Circle of Sisters" there and writing in a couple of times; I dared add something personal as an accompanying note the second time because she sent more than the minimal "your post will be included" message. This turned into an ongoing personal correspondence as I followed her to Planet Kathy when she started that blog.   The pic she used  as my first follower   Kathy was the impetus for me to start writing, to take the thoughts that always composed themselves i...

Film: The Young Messiah

My face was wet with tears when we left this film. It made me ponder profound spiritual matters.  First of all, any time you go to see a story of the Savior done by those who don't have the advantage of what has been prophetically revealed in our day, you have to partly set aside some issues, and look for the portrayal of faith--is there light here? And there was so much, setting aside some of the errors and the assumptions of the early portion--I don't think he could heal without knowing why, for example. But I wasn't going to let that destroy what truth might be there. What was it like to be this Child, growing up? How did he experience his life? If he grew "from grace to grace" and "received not of the fullness at the first," how did it come? If he never sinned even in childhood but wasn't just waiting to get old enough to begin his ministry--sort of like checking his watch to see if it's time yet--then how did his underst...

Saying Goodbye to My First Follower

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Missing Kathy Kidd, my first follower...it's her birthday today (April 3). We first started to correspond when Kathy was doing Meridian Magazine's "Circle of Sisters," a forum where someone would write in a question they wanted to put to the readers and anyone was welcome to respond.  I wrote in a few times; the first time nothing happened, but the second time--which I would agree my contribution had more substance--I got an email that my words would run.  The anticipation of waiting for Monday to see if it would actually happen, and what other ideas and responses would be offered up.  I wrote a brief note and got a response.  After a bit, she gave me her personal email and suggested that I was free to use that, because the contact for the forum was something she only opened weekly to set up the posting for the week.  She was sick and at home just then, which opened a window of attention. I ended up writing in a number of times for "Circle of Sisters",...

Nauvoo Times, gone

The Nauvoo Times is gone as an active endeavor.  It made up so much of the rhythm of my life; every alternate Wednesday I had a column, which meant for a long time that I had to have that column off into the ether on Monday morning before I left for the YMCA.  When they got a Facebook platform, that meant that the deadlines were moved up, and my column had to be in Kathy Kidd's inbox not by the end of Monday but by 8 a.m. east coast time. This meant that it had to be sent off before I could go to bed on Sunday, and many were the nights that I was up past my bedtime, pondering and polishing. I tried to have something started earlier--actually on (virtual) paper, that is--and not just in my head.  Most of the time I did, but sometimes it wasn't much.  I always do a better job when I can sketch out, at least, what I want to say and then let it run in the back of my brain for a while. The writing there took over from writing here, after a while.  I need to come...

Philemon and returning home

It's been a full year and then a bit since I was here on these pages, far too long. I was called into a new Relief Society presidency as the education counselor the Sunday before last Thanksgiving, and then writing for the Nauvoo Times seemed to be enough to deal with on top of that, and I just didn't get back.  I also continued to be teaching the stake Relief Society Institute class until late January, when--wait for it--my replacement was the sister who had been the previous education counselor.  We swapped places, after a seven-week delay.  (I felt a bit like we [our ward] were Bethlehem, the least of all, called again for the whole stake. We have very few members in stake callings of any kind. Our ward has many burdens, but many gifts in spirit.) My mother's weekly letter talked about teaching one lesson on Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon today; with not enough time, she didn't go into the epistle to Philemon at all.  I started to write about our class,...