greaterthansparrows

 Maybe four or five months ago, a brother who had become a friend of ours here got up in testimony meeting; he said that he and his wife had lived here for 21 years (if I remember correctly) and this was only the second time he had stood to bear his testimony.  He talked about how, growing up in Kentucky hill country, everyone worked hard, they had a roof over their heads and food on the table, but no habits of open affection.  He said none of them really expressed the thought, "I love you" to anyone else.  It took time for him to learn to say such words, and he mostly only said them to his wife. He commented about hard times of various kinds...and how much life had changed with finding the gospel through finding his wife, and his gratitude for friends and his ward family. He was kind of looking down at the podium as much as out at all of us; then there was a quiet declaration that will touch my heart forever: looking up, he said, "All you people out there--I proba...

[Catching up on ideas that were begun but have been in limbo while so much has happened with our move] I heard a talk at Women's Conference some years ago by Patricia Holland that has stuck with me. I have not been able to find it online--wish I could--but I do have notes that prove it happened.  She said that we talk a lot about living righteously so that we can come back to our Father in Heaven, but that our purpose is not just to be with God, but to be like him.  Then she asked the question:  how can we become like God without spending time with him? It's not just keeping the commandments as a to-do list, but taking in his love and his promises and drawing close to our Savior.  Spend real time with him, that we may be changed by it, through deeper prayer, service, pondering, and scripture study. Some thoughts--If our whole goal were just to be in God’s presence again, why would we have left it in the first place? We were already w...

I didn't get back the second day, didn't finish this, did I? From last April.  I just haven't been here, life has been swamped.... Now a second Christmas has passed for Clark ('Fluffy' in her blog writings). So here it is. I miss Kathy Kidd's presence across the country.... How do I begin (humming the music intro in the back of my head)...to tell the story... I had read Paradise Vue and loved it.   I saw Kathy's name at her previous spot and started reading "Circle of Sisters" there and writing in a couple of times; I dared add something personal as an accompanying note the second time because she sent more than the minimal "your post will be included" message. This turned into an ongoing personal correspondence as I followed her to Planet Kathy when she started that blog.   The pic she used  as my first follower   Kathy was the impetus for me to start writing, to take the thoughts that always composed themselves i...

My face was wet with tears when we left this film. It made me ponder profound spiritual matters.  First of all, any time you go to see a story of the Savior done by those who don't have the advantage of what has been prophetically revealed in our day, you have to partly set aside some issues, and look for the portrayal of faith--is there light here? And there was so much, setting aside some of the errors and the assumptions of the early portion--I don't think he could heal without knowing why, for example. But I wasn't going to let that destroy what truth might be there. What was it like to be this Child, growing up? How did he experience his life? If he grew "from grace to grace" and "received not of the fullness at the first," how did it come? If he never sinned even in childhood but wasn't just waiting to get old enough to begin his ministry--sort of like checking his watch to see if it's time yet--then how did his underst...

Missing Kathy Kidd, my first follower...it's her birthday today (April 3). We first started to correspond when Kathy was doing Meridian Magazine's "Circle of Sisters," a forum where someone would write in a question they wanted to put to the readers and anyone was welcome to respond.  I wrote in a few times; the first time nothing happened, but the second time--which I would agree my contribution had more substance--I got an email that my words would run.  The anticipation of waiting for Monday to see if it would actually happen, and what other ideas and responses would be offered up.  I wrote a brief note and got a response.  After a bit, she gave me her personal email and suggested that I was free to use that, because the contact for the forum was something she only opened weekly to set up the posting for the week.  She was sick and at home just then, which opened a window of attention. I ended up writing in a number of times for "Circle of Sisters",...

The Nauvoo Times is gone as an active endeavor.  It made up so much of the rhythm of my life; every alternate Wednesday I had a column, which meant for a long time that I had to have that column off into the ether on Monday morning before I left for the YMCA.  When they got a Facebook platform, that meant that the deadlines were moved up, and my column had to be in Kathy Kidd's inbox not by the end of Monday but by 8 a.m. east coast time. This meant that it had to be sent off before I could go to bed on Sunday, and many were the nights that I was up past my bedtime, pondering and polishing. I tried to have something started earlier--actually on (virtual) paper, that is--and not just in my head.  Most of the time I did, but sometimes it wasn't much.  I always do a better job when I can sketch out, at least, what I want to say and then let it run in the back of my brain for a while. The writing there took over from writing here, after a while.  I need to come...

It's been a full year and then a bit since I was here on these pages, far too long. I was called into a new Relief Society presidency as the education counselor the Sunday before last Thanksgiving, and then writing for the Nauvoo Times seemed to be enough to deal with on top of that, and I just didn't get back.  I also continued to be teaching the stake Relief Society Institute class until late January, when--wait for it--my replacement was the sister who had been the previous education counselor.  We swapped places, after a seven-week delay.  (I felt a bit like we [our ward] were Bethlehem, the least of all, called again for the whole stake. We have very few members in stake callings of any kind. Our ward has many burdens, but many gifts in spirit.) My mother's weekly letter talked about teaching one lesson on Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon today; with not enough time, she didn't go into the epistle to Philemon at all.  I started to write about our class,...

I have seeded the bare spots in the back and side yard today that were created by pulling out the pile, at long last, that was created by uncovering the hidden patio in the back, and then spreading that dirt into the worst of the hollows in the side yard so that I don't have to worry about turning an ankle heading for the hose.  (The elders came and took care of that task.) The grass seed was weirdly bright blue because it's coated with fertilizer, but it's easy to see. The hose is on the opposite side of the house from the garden plot.  Naturally.  And no, you couldn't do it otherwise.  The space from the exterior wall to the fences are 10 feet on the street side, 10 1/2 on the north/interior side, and 12 feet to the back...the back is probably only ten feet to the fence from the walkway that runs across it, and down to the back gate that opens onto the sidewalk.  The raised, already-there section on the street side (remember, we're on a corner) has the sunsh...

I didn't really mean to take the whole summer off.  This is what happened... My last Institute lesson, finishing Jeremiah, was done.  I had been reading a book, trying to find the William Monk novels by Anne Perry in sequence, and I knew it would become too intense to put down.  I resolutely set it aside for two days to finish preparing my lesson.  Six lessons on Isaiah, two on minor prophets and finishing I Kings, then three on Jeremiah, had been intensive.  I learned so much and was so blessed, and they had swallowed my life whole.  My garden was going in at the same time. I went to water aerobics after class, then home.  I had a quick lunch and then sat down with the book.  I made dinner on time, then back to the book.  When I finished it before bedtime, I picked up another book.  That one took me through the next day.  I was clearly sucked into the reading I had not had time for. Summer-- it's been quite a busy break....

This was my first Mother's Day as a fully long-distance mother.  I looked at the missionary dinner calendar last week and noticed that this Sunday didn't have anybody signed up to feel the elders, so I took the opportunity.  It seemed like it would be a very happy day to offer them dinner, when they got to talk to their families and we could hear all about them. We have two sets of elders right now, and when Hubby asked which ones we were getting, I told him, "the diggers."  These two have come twice to dig up space for us to plant a garden, and I got to show them what we've done so far.  I cannot dig up the space or do much, but I can (I hope) tend it once it's done.  I asked the other two last evening at a family game night for the ward if they had someone to feed them, and they assured me they did.  We would be very full with all of them, but I bought the biggest chicken I think I've ever seen (6 lbs!) yesterday in case, and lots of asparagus.  I ...

We had a very blessed Easter.  I know that was a week ago, but it has lingered.  I haven't been writing, though it feels like it's all I've done today. Last Sunday we had our first formal guests.  We didn't get everything unpacked and organized, but we made major inroads.  We have had another couple over for nibbles and a movie, but this was our first sit down dinner.  Our friend who gave us a spur-of-the-moment invitation for Christmas dinner when I was feeling blue we had for Easter.  We were only sorry that his wife didn't feel well and stayed home. We dug out the leaf for the table and pulled the table out from the wall.  For just the two of us, we don't need the full length and we don't need the back side of it.  If we have the table out enough to get in and out of it on all sides, then you have to walk around it to get to the kitchen.  So we placed it up against the wall under the window with the set of blinds that we leave closed....

It's spring, and the flowering trees around town are in various stages.  I drove down the old block and the cherry blossoms were barely budding, and I remembered how late they seemed every year, because the timetable of the trees along a stretch of South 12th, where I travel pretty much anytime I go anywhere brings them out earlier.  The Prices' magnolia tree , that was cut back to  such a truncated state two years ago, has brought back branches, lightweight ones, in a tulip shape and they were almost  ready to open; in the week since, I imagine that they have.  I loved that tree across the street, out my front door.  I miss it. The white-blossoming trees that aren't apples are in bloom, and as I've gone walking I recognize that whatever they are, the city must have been responsible for planting them years, decades, ago, because they go up and down many of the blocks in this neighborhood.  The apple tree behind us, that so surprised me last summer, ...

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of our signing the lease here and getting the keys.  We had waited on pins and needles for an extra week for the confirmation that our application was accepted.  We still didn't know what would happen with our house, we didn't know how we were going to make it, but we knew that the Lord had answered our prayers and opened it up. The sale of the house closed two weeks ago when the lease option was exercised by the parents of the mom of the couple living in it.  (Got that?)  The contract provided that they could be substituted if the young, resident couple couldn't get the financing they wanted.  (Well, the contract simply provided that they could be substituted, and we understood why that would be what happened, and then the grandparent couple will sell it to their kids when they get that worked out.)  The house is theirs. I drove through the block yesterday to see if the trees are out yet.  The cherry blossom...

I have to put these away, and I've promised that they will be organized and stored in the space waiting for them.  It's been a lift to my spirits to come in and sit down and see them spread around me.  But I have to get back to business, sadly. This one is very sweet, Geoff not quite three giving a kiss to his new baby sister Carole.  It softens my heart every time I come in and sit down and see it.  It was one that hadn't seen the light of day for a while. My column for the Nauvoo Times this week is about this whole experience of gathering photos .  It's called A Book of Remembering and you can read it here. The two pictures with my Grandmother Jeppson that are mentioned in it are here: and here: sitting out in the garden at Aunt Elizabeth's at our reception. When I was in college, I used to write letters.  Back in the day, we wrote letters on special paper called stationery, made to be pretty, and sent them off in envelopes with stamps....